I'm an excellent driver
As I was saying...I friggin hate to drive. I'm using the word "hate" here. But, a girl's gotta do, what girl's gotta do.
Jan 4th: So, my car was jammed packed with DVDs and 2 suitcases I planned on taking to Stockholm. I'm talking 10 huge rubbermaid clear bins with DVDs a-overflowin and 2 suitcases ready to burst. Once Nemo was packed securely in his fugly carrying case, off I went.
SO...picture it if you will...I am attempting to follow my husband who drives like he could care less about speed limit signs, I'm in a car with the engine light that has been on since late 2006, with me is a kitten crying like an old lady who just lost her 15th round in-a-row by one number in a BINGO parlor on a Saturday night, and no vision out back or sides of this vehicle except for a sliver in my mirrors -- BRING IT ON!
SO...picture it if you will...I am attempting to follow my husband who drives like he could care less about speed limit signs, I'm in a car with the engine light that has been on since late 2006, with me is a kitten crying like an old lady who just lost her 15th round in-a-row by one number in a BINGO parlor on a Saturday night, and no vision out back or sides of this vehicle except for a sliver in my mirrors -- BRING IT ON!
Needless to say, when I stopped to get gas, I stocked up on some cigs. I was gonna need them. OK, to make a long story less boring - I was actually OK. I only got pissed off once when I had to veer WAY over to the right to catch an exit 4 lanes away and had like 2 seconds to do it in (remember I was following Alberto who owns the road). I only smoked about 10-15 cigarettes in a 2 1/2 hour period...that's normal..right?
What is not so normal is that I NEVER drive on the highway. I avoid it as much as possible, and here I am just putt-putting along like I know what the hell I am doing. I'm serious. Before the 4th, I had about 10-12 (possibly 15 but that is pushing it) of lifetime hours I have spent on a real highway where I HAD to go above 55. (Hey, I grew up in a city, who the hell needed to drive..gimme a break).
But I digress. So, I get to the condo OK that he is (I guess that is 'we are') renting and drop off all the crap in my car. I don't remember that night - but I did finish off at least one pack of cigs and might have done some damage on another one...
Jan 5th-7th: The same mass of lilliputian Mexicans (plus some Dominicans I think who snuck into the mix) show up to unpack all the sh*t they just finished packing a few days before. What a friggin mess this was. It took the bastids 3 days to pack and only 6 hours to unpack it all from the truck. I'm thinking there was no plan here on their part - just pick a room and drop a box and do it again.
They unpacked that 18 Wheeler so fast, I went into the kitchen to feed the cats, Ok... how long does that take? Seriously? 10 minutes max if you spend time washing out the cat food cans so your trash doesn't smell like that BINGO parlor I mentioned earlier? Ok. So I'm in the kichen for 10 minutes max. I turn around to, I don't know, maybe smoke another couple packs of cigarettes, and BAM! I am blocked in. It was like a friggin lifesize carboard TETRIS game right before my eyes. These fools blocked me in. Box after box kept coming in...what the hell, man.....Idiots. Since the Great Wall of Cardboard muffled my cries for help, I decided to take a picture as it was funny in a really really MBP-messed up way.
Jan 7th: More to follow as Jan 7th is when I finally head for Stockholm where the real fun begins. This is where that 7 foot-tall-queen comes into play and the crazy sh*t I've been up to in this city.
Here's a preview of what I have found interesting thus far:
No comments:
Post a Comment